Happy New Year!

Well I have to say I am happy to say hello to 2012!   It is not that the last year has been bad as there have been many positive things however these right now seem to be overshadowed by the emotional roller coaster of the adoption.  I remember last year thinking - "this is the year!" .... well I suppose it wasn't.  So this year I am not going to say that (although it is hard to stop thinking :) ).  This year I am going to work on being healthy, happy and trying my best not to let the adoption roller coaster take the best of me.  I do however hope that many people get happy news in the new year and things in the adoption world start to move again!

Month 33

Well the month of November didn't quite turn out the way I hoped (yet anyways).  The agency went to Ethiopia however did not come back with referrals as so many of us had been thinking they might.  They did come back with some information on the slow down and overall state of international adoption.  This news was bitter sweet from my stand point - countries are trying to find ways to raise children within their own communities which I think is great but on the other hand I wonder at what cost does this come to the children and families who know they are unable to care for the children.  I am trying to remain positive that my adoption will happen but at times this is difficult as things change so quickly from one day to the next.  I decided I am going to try not to set myself up for disappointment by setting a short timeline that I think I might get a referral - fingers crossed that will work! 

I have met so many amazing people through this journey (most through emails) and this support is so appreciated.  Here is hoping that people get some good news for Christmas!

32 Months

32 months of waiting -- wow!   I wouldn't have imagined when I started or even a year ago that I would still be waiting to see a picture of my little one.  Things seems to have halted since August in terms of Ethiopian adoptions without much reason other than the guesses I have.  On a positive note the director of my coordinating agency and two workers left for Ethiopia yesterday.  From what I understand their plan is to address the lack of referrals and bring some back!!  Here is hoping that they are able to bring many referrals back with them as I realize that just because this is their hopes it does not mean the paperwork will be there to do so.  As I wait the level of patience's ebbs and flows.  I try to keep in mind that everything happens for a reason and the child that is meant to be in my life will come when the time is right.  However at times my heart and head don't match up on this one :)  I am ever so thankful for the supportive people in my life - despite them not totally understanding as they do not stand in my shoes and never have they have been great.  So now I am left with the question - what do I do for the next month to keep my mind busy and have time fly by?! 

Here is hoping that November brings good news to LOTS of families!!!!  

Happy Thanksgiving!

I know I haven't posted in quite some time. To be honest I didn't know what to say except arhg..... for month 30 and then 31 of waiting.   I thought however today was a good day to post and wish everyone a happy thanksgiving!   I have so much in my life to be faithful for and I think in the midst of all of the adoption craziness those things get taken for granted or forgotten about.   Today is a day to remember all of those things and celebrate them with friends and family!    Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!  (and here is hoping next year there is even more to be thankful for!)

29 Months!

29 months of waiting!  Many people compare the adoption journey to riding an emotional roller coaster, if this were the case I would say 29 months feels like I on the part of the ride that is rapidly going up and down abruptly and I am trying to read what is ahead before it arrives.  I feel more optimistic given that there has been much good news regarding visas and referrals.  I am also finding that I am trying to read between the lines of information provided.  The adoption coordinator has been great at answering questions but every ! or smiley face leaves me trying to interpret. 

August is a busy month so I am hoping that this helps distract the anticipation a bit.  Right now I feel my heart drop when the phone rings with an unknown number. I have to say knowing that you are close to a referral is the hardest stage so far.  At least when I knew that there were many in front of me I was not so jumpy :)  Trying to remain positive still and for the most part this is working.  People keep asking what happens after the referral to which I answer that it leads to the next stage of waiting but boy am I ready for a different change of scenery.  August will be three years since I started this process - wow I never would have imagined! 

Hoping August brings much good news to people!

27 Months!

Today marks 27 months of waiting.  This week I heard from my adoption coordinator that they are coming to the city and meeting with families in June.  I am looking forward to actually talking to someone in person rather than on the phone.  I need now to sit down and think about the questions that I might have.  They also are going to share what people ahead of me are requesting which will be nice. 

This past month I have been trying to think of baby names.  Given I work with children and youth this is proving to be difficult.  Girls names come easily but boys are more difficult.  Any ideas?  I have a list started but have also heard from other adoptive moms that at times people have had lots of ideas and then once seeing a picture of their little one felt that none fit.  This however is giving me something to focus on. 

On a positive note it sounds like people are receiving their visa's in less time than before.  Here's hoping that this trend continues!

A referral by the end of the summer?????   boy I hope so!

26 months!

26 months waiting for a referral - wow!  I didn't post last month as I must say I wasn't feeling so hopeful and decided to hold off on the rant.  This month has left me with much more hope.  Things appear to be moving again and CAFAC has been wonderful in answering all my questions when I call.  I don't know how much longer the wait for a referral will be but feel much more hopeful that it will happen with some idea of how many people ahead of me.  I am now just trying to stop my brain from calculating when I need to get a referral in order to hit court before closures (but this is not looking likely).  My understanding from others experiences is that once court is applied for it is about 4 week wait to find out when the court date will be and then it is about 4-6 weeks await to travel for that date.  I am keeping my fingers crossed that things will continue to move and hoping perhaps for those waiting for visa's that leg of the wait becomes quicker! 

Here's hoping that those long waiters get referrals soon, court dates continue to be successful and people travel to get their little ones in the shortest time possible!

2 Years!

31 months since the start of this process -- and 24 months since I was considered "officially waiting" which is signified by my file landing in Ethiopia.  Time lines have not changed much since the last update.  I have been told there are referrals coming sometime in March, but given there are still many people in front of me there won't be one for me.  I am hoping to hear something by the summer however trying not to get my hopes up about it given the time lines change daily. 

The last two years have been filled with many ups and downs.  I have thought about this day a lot in the last few weeks and have decided that I am going to focus on all those aspects of my life in the last two years that have made me smile. 

I head out to somewhere hot this week --- Cuba!   I didn't take a trip last year due to the waiting game however decided I truly deserve one this year.  I plan to soak up some sun and relax!  I figure it can be a distraction from the process but also a celebration of the two year mark.  I did inform the adoption agency that I would be away -- just in case :) but am certain I will not hear much from them. 

Hoping that the good news continues to come for all of those waiting for court dates, referrals and paperwork to bring their little ones home!